If that was your dad, he is hot
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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