We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
