my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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