Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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