Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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