I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
