I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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