We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
