Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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