I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
being pregnant is like rehab
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
