my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I need to align my fucking chakras
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