I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
3pm strippers are depressing
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
