shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
