Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
