Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
