yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
