True but thats because hes a fetus.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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