I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My liver just had a heart attack.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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