People in love make me want to vomit
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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