I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
