ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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