im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
There's always time for handjobs
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize