Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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