Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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