marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
