When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
They have beer where we have blood.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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