Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
