Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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