We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she was so not down for the gang bang
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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