I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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