talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
