Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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