I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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