Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
