Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My dick has a subreddit
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Randomize
