you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
