Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Verdict: uncircumcised.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
