If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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