I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
