i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize