I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
