You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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