Moan for me like Helen Keller
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
