her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
