Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
