toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
love makes seman taste better
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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