omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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