Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
