I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
