The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
