There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Even the bartender felt bad for me
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Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
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After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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