"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
