What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
