I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
