I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
