Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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