I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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