In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Dignity is for republicans.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
