Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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