Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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