ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
